$33,000 - that's how much we spent out of pocket on medical expenses for 2009 - and guess what? We have absolutely nothing to show for it. It's not like we paid to get cured from some disease or to have a broken bone fixed or to have some great plastic surgery or anything. No, it all went to fertility treatments - basically it's like we opened up the window and threw out $33,000 in cash. That's more than some people even make in an entire year, and we just threw it away.
Makes me sick.
The ONLY good thing is that we will get some money back on our taxes for our medical deductions but not anything close to what we spent. I think last year we got around $7,000 back total. Yeah, we did the same thing last year - threw just as much hard earned money out the window.
We will not do that in 2010. I can't stand to keep spending that much money in vain.
And I've wondered why we are never ever able to take vacations or go do fun things. Why I feel like we are so poor when hubby and I both have decent jobs - not great, but decent. It's all perfectly clear now. Imagine the vacations we could have taken last year for $33,000. We could have had a blast. Or the house projects we could have completed. Did I tell you how sick this makes me? We always said, if we end up with a baby, it will be all worth it. But, as you know, we didn't. Now what?
7 comments:
Yep, if you walked by my house you would find some cash flying out my window as well. $22k and nothing to show for it either. Nothing. I am driving a 10 year-old car. I could have paid cash for a pretty nice one.
Ugh! Do I feel your pain. My total spent on IF in 2009 was about 36K and AT LEAST another 5K coming soon.
Yet another way that IF sucks.
I totally get this. And it's funny--I think about the plastic surgery I could have had! Ha. And I'm not even into plastic surgery, I'm just thinking of something medical that would be tangible..
I think we're approaching 80K total over the past three years and it makes.me.sick. I look at our guest bathroom that needs a total redo, I look at friends buying boats and vacation houses or taking nice vacations, and I look at our retirement accounts that we haven't been contributing to like we should have...and then I look at the damn empty guest room. If I could look in there and see an actual baby I wouldn't think twice about the money, duh. But instead, I sit around and stew about the money.
Yeah, I get it. And I'm sorry you get it too.
I hope you get a nice humungous refund and spend it all on a vacation!
Yes, it sucks. Maybe it would help to think about how you would feel if you hadn't tried. The end result could be the same, but at least you can take comfort in knowing you did everything possible.
I am still hoping that magical baby will be here soon.
Sometimes my jelousy about other peoples fertility takes a serious finaical bent. Of course we can't save, of course we can't have better furniature, or go on vacation. We have to load my body full of useless drugs and embryos. I feel ya sister.
Don't feel guilty or remorseful for the monies that were spent. You did it because you needed to do it. It's easy to say that you wasted the money after the fact. You spent the money because you had to. For your sanity. It's a gamble, but a gamble that we IFs need to take. If we didn't we'd all look back wondering whether or not we would've had a chance at a BFP. Hang in there.
T
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