I'm still waiting on AF, so I decided to go ahead and give myself a PIO shot....without calling the nurse first. I know I should have called, but the last time AF was this late, she made me wait another week and then told me to take 1cc of PIO. Since that seemed to work last time, I decided to just go ahead and do it this time rather than waiting any longer. I hope that doesn't screw things up with me any more than I'm already screwed up. I'm just ready to get this FET out of the way. To know one way or the other if it's going to work or not.
I know I'm not really ready to throw in the towel, yet, on the whole IF battle, but... My thoughts on this are all over the place, depending on the day. Hubby and I spent some time yesterday talking about what our life may look like - be like - if it turns out that we can't ever have kids. As much as we both want a family of our own, some of our thoughts, ideas and plans were really appealing and I actually found myself somewhat excited about the things we could do. Of course this conversation came after calculating our medical expenses for our taxes for the past year and we started realizing all the other things we could do if we didn't keep throwing away $30,000 each year on useless fertility treatments. And part of me thinks - hey, if I get all excited and start making plans to move on with my life, then maybe this FET will actually work...who knows. I'm just ready to get it over with.
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Ha! Glad you took matters into your own hands - and if it worked last time I'm sure you are fine. I've been much more independent with my drugs as I do cycle after cycle - I could probably tell the nurse what to do. *sigh*
I am really hopeful that your more relaxed attitude and doing an FET (so much easier on the body) will be the ticket to success! Take care...
I know EXACTLY where you're coming from when you talk about picturing your life without children. Last night I was lying in bed thinking about all the vacations we'd take together, interesting things we'd get to do or see. I have a few sets of Uncle's and Aunt's that never had children, and they have very much enjoyed their middle age.
But then I get back to reality and thinking about what I really want right now. The process will be such a struggle, but I hope we all come out happy on the other end, with or without children.
I totally feel you on this one. We talk about a child-free life, too, and honestly it can sound pretty good.
Then, just when I'm feeling like I might survive I see a little family somewhere, or some Hallmark moment of a Mom and baby and I get sucker punched all over again and think "NO WAIT! I DO WANT KIDS!!" This protracted waiting to see how our lives turn out really does a number on us, I think.
Good for you for just doing that damn PIO shot. I hope it brings on AF and you can get the show on the road. And of course, I hope it works!
I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who thinks this way! My hubby and I go through phases where we talk about all the things we could do if we never had children. And then be it a few weeks or a few months later, we crack and say we can't imagine our lives without kids.
I have posted similar comments on other people's blogs so maybe you have seen it.
In a nutshell, now that I have a kid and that overwhelming desire to have a child is pretty much gone, I can see that I could have had a happy life with a family of two. NOW I can see the trade-off's. Now I can see that there a lot of wonderful things about living childfree. There are also a lot of wonderful things about raising a child.
Both lives can be happy and fulfilling. The trouble is that innate desire to parent. I don't know how you turn that off. I think that is what makes living child free so damn hard. You are trying to convince an instinct that you don't need it. I don't think instinct listens to reason at all.
I am hoping the FET works and even hoping you will keep trying if it fails. But I also want to wish you peace and happiness and fulfillment if you move on without kids.
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