Well we have a new plan in place and are moving forward. I know several of you questioned why I would even consider continuing on with my current doctor after my previous post about him - and believe me - if time and money were not factors, I would walk in, demand my file and never look back. But, unfortunately, right now, I am ruled by time and money...and it is quite unfortunate.
This whole process has been quite the learning experience. Every step we take, we learn more and more - some good lessons, some bad. Looking back, we know now that we made a HUGE mistake when we left our original clinic - the one with the good, qualified, university-associated doctors. However, back then we were clueless and still so full of hope. We really thought that the issue was my husband's low sperm count and thought if we could just get his sperm to my eggs via IVF with ICSI that we'd be pregnant. When that didn't work we were quite shocked. At the WTF appointment with our doctor at the time, she said that she couldn't, in good faith, recommend that we try again, based on the quality of the embryos we produced. This was two years ago. If we had only listened to her at the time, we would probably have a kid or two by now, but back then we couldn't/wouldn't hear what she was saying. We weren't ready to throw in the towel on my eggs and hubby's sperm. I'm not even sure if she came right out and said donor eggs/sperm - if she did, we just weren't ready to go there. So, instead we left in search of some other doctor who would give us a different opinion - and, of course, we found one. One who was more than happy to take our money and make big promises about how he would do things differently and how we would have much better success with him. And we believed him - who wouldn't?
It's funny though - after wasting all this time and money, we are right where we were two years ago. Nothing has changed. I'm still not pregnant. If only we were able to truly hear and believe what the first doctor was telling us. But it's a journey. Two years ago, we couldn't imagine using donor eggs. Now, we are making a plan to use donor eggs and donor sperm or possibly donor embryos and it barely fazes us.
So....back to why I'm choosing to stay with this a-hole, incompetent doctor - time: if we leave, it will delay things by many, many months - time I'm not willing to waste at this point. And money. Our insurance covers absolutely nothing. We have already spent so much of our savings and since this is our absolute last shot and since this doctor is offering us a deal that is one-third the price we would have to pay anywhere else, well, we are stuck. We can't afford to leave. Sad but true. Plus, since our plan is now to try a cycle using a sperm donor and an egg donor - how bad can he mess this up? The sperm donor I've selected is 20! A mere baby - crazy. And we are looking at an egg donor who is 21. This cycle should be a piece of cake - we hope. If not, I guess our last and final back up plan is our one little frostie possibly mixed in with donor embryos. We'll see. As my husband and I keep saying - if we end up with a baby at the end, then it's all been worth it. If not...well, I just can't go there right now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I'm sold. I totally understand and agree with your decision to stay with dopey doctor. Time and money. Two scarce resources. And with the donors you're looking at, there's no reason you shouldn't be pregnant by Christmas! As for bygones and decisions we wish we had made...you can't beat yourself up for the decisions you made 2 years ago. You're precisely right about this being a journey, along which we learn and grow and gain insight into ourselves. You've learned so much and I'm so excited for you! (BTW, my word verification is "kidist"- is that someone who is a kid expert?).
Yep. Makes sense. The sooner, the cheaper, the better. Can't wait to see pictures of you as a Yummy Tummy!
It makes sense to me as well. This whole thing is a road of 'what if's'. It will suck all your energy out if you go down that road.
Sounds like you have some great material to work with! 20 years old. Man. I don't even remember being 20!!
I totally get it. One of the reasons I went in-house for a donor at my clinic was the cost. $30k vs. $15k. Pretty much an easy decision.
I also understand the journey part. I get so mad at myself for certain things I did/didn't do along the way, but in reality it's the whole path that led me here, and I am tired of playing "what if" with myself.
Feeling very optimistic for you!
hi, i am just catching up. Like the pp's I agree with your thinking. There is the ideal and then there is real life.
Post a Comment