Dreading my Lunch Date

I hate to admit it but I have plans to meet one of my friends for lunch today, and I'm really dreading it. I used to have a group of 10 girlfriends whom I loved and enjoyed getting together with, but over the past couple of years as people have gotten married and some have had kids while others have not, the group has sort of fallen apart. Four of my friends have had babies in the past two years and some are already onto round 2. Given my situation, that has certainly caused a strain on my relationship with many of my friends. At first, all those who were having babies, were asking when we were going to join the club. As more time passed and nothing happened, I think they all started to figure out that we were having trouble in that department and started to just avoid us, and I guess we started avoiding them, too. (I haven't told many people about IVF and no one about the donor eggs).

So, today, I meeting one of my friends who got pregnant on her first try - one of those. I haven't seen or talked to her in a long time, so I know she's going to ask - so, what's been going on with you? (I always feel like there is a hidden question in there when one my friends asks that question.) Since, I'm not going to say - "well, we've been looking into using donor eggs and just heard from our clinic that I've been matched with a potential donor and now we are just waiting to find out more about her, but we are really excited" - I spent time last night coming up with a list of things I could talk about - we are doing some work on our house, I've started playing tennis again and joined a team, I'm thinking about starting a garden this year and have been doing some research into that etc. etc. Now, how pathetic is it that I have to plan topics to discuss over lunch with a former close friend. It's really a little sad that I'm at this place in my life where I don't look forward to this time spent with friends and casual conversation.