So yesterday at work, this really nice lady who is a secretary on my floor stopped by my office to chat and to tell me about how worried she is about the colleges her daughter is considering after high school. She is going on and on about how she doesn't agree with her choices and is planning to go talk with her daughter's guidance counselor about it all. Mid-way through her story, she stops and asks, "So how old are your children?"
I felt a bit awkward, but breezily replied - "I don't have any children." Well, it was obvious that this news threw her for a complete loop. She responded, "Oh, I thought you had kids, I thought you had mentioned your son before." - as I see her eyes quickly scanning the photos on my desk - those of me and my husband on our wedding day, a few more of my husband and one of my cat.
So then she continues, "Well, I guess that could be good or bad because my daughter is driving me crazy.... blah, blah, blah."
I don't know why that short little exchange bothered me so much -but it made me feel like some sort of freak. I realized that I'm the only person on our hall that doesn't have children. Hopefully, that will change in the future, but then I wonder what all these people with children in high school already will think when someone "my age" becomes pregnant with her first child.
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2 comments:
What? you are in your 30's and don't have kids? Well you must be some kind of freak of nature- JK.
I totally know what it's like. Once I got pregnant it was like "they" let me in their "club" which made me feel even weirder because I will never see myself like other moms. It bothered me when I was left out but it bothered me even more when they let me in becasue they assumed I was like them. I am a very different kind of mom due to all these years of infertility.
Hi! I just got your comment on my blog. I know why it bothered you, because it was a stupid, presumptuous thing to say. So sorry people are so stupid/insensitive/narrowminded. I know how you feel, I think. I am finally pregnant after 6 years - now people just assume I got this way conventionally. They are already asking me about #2. It's insane. Um...well, lets see, I have 3 embryos on ice - not sure what we will do because the chances are somewhat diminished with FET and we don't have the money to start over after having already spent $60k...
Anyway, I hope that donor eggs work out for you. I've only had time to read your "about me" excerp and it says you're going with donor eggs on your bday. When exactly is that? Guess I better get busy reading your blog
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