Or maybe it should be impatiently waiting. Mr. Big and I completed our donor application and turned it in on Jan. 6 - almost exactly one month ago. Included with the application was our list of our top six donor choices. My clinic has its own donor matching program. They put a list of all available donors on their website and then ask you to go through and select your top choices based on height, weight, hair color, eye color, blood type, ethnicity and education level. Then they take your top choices and see which of those are a good match based on the donors' medical backgrounds as compared to my husband's. Once they narrow down the list to the best possible matches, they contact the donors to see if/when they are available to cycle again. Then they notify us once they have secured an available donor.
I understand that all this can take some time. However, when we turned in our application, my RE said that if we hadn't heard anything from the coordinating nurse within two weeks to give her a call. He actually said - "sometimes, the squeaky wheel gets the grease." I'm not good at being the squeaky wheel - I hate to unnecessarily bother people, so after I did not hear anything for two weeks, I called. I was really nice and polite - maybe too nice. I told the nurse that I know she is busy and that she is probably working with a lot of other women who submitted their applications before me, but I just wanted to confirm that she did, indeed, receive my application and wondered if she had had time to begin the matching process for me.
She did confirm that she had my application but then went on to tell me about how busy she has been lately. She no longer has help from the nurse who used to assist her with the matching, so now she's having to do everything herself and hasn't had a chance to get to it. She said if all goes well, she may have some time to work on it the following week (which is this week). My lame response was - well, ok. I'll just wait to hear from you then.
This nurse is not only responsible for overseeing the donor program, she is also the nurse who handles all the US monitoring visits for the IVF patients among many other things. They don't have anyone who solely handles the donor program, so my fate lies in the hands of an overworked nurse who doesn't have time to work on finding a suitable donor for me. I would have more patience if I knew they were actively working on matching people and that I just had to wait my turn, but to know that she doesn't have time to get to it and everyone's files are just sitting there on her desk - that drives me crazy. I wish they'd just let me come over and go through all the donors and find my own match - I'm sure I could knock it out in a day or two. Maybe it's time to become the squeaky wheel. I've decided that I'm going to call back on Monday -just to check in.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hi, Thanks for you comment. I do think you have to be "wired" to be fun but since I'm not I will haev to work at it.
How frustrating about the donor matching goign so slowly. I too would be understanding if it was just a matter that there were other women who had to be matched first. But sicne there is really no "good" reason for the delay...yea frustrating.
I also think your "nice but consistent" approach will get you farther than never calling or being demanding.
I think calling once a week is totally appropriate.
I'm unclear why they have to "match" your picks. Why can't they just start calling your choices and see if they are available? I picked a donor. The clinic called her, and she was available. If she was not I would have chosen a second choice.
Seems like they have an unnecessary step in there.
I agree - I think a nice phone call once a week will be my plan. From what I understand, they have to look at the medical backgrounds of my picks to make sure they match up well with my husband's medical background - so if he has a lot of cancer in his family, they'll make sure the donor does not have a lot of cancer. This is information that they did not provide me with. If they'd just provide me that, I could go ahead and make the final pick myself!
how frustrating to know your next cycle is in a pile on a desk. ugh. from my experience i have learned to never trust the time frames that RE's hand out (ours told us we could be pregnant two months after we entered the clinic, in actuality it took us four months just to get past the screening, never mind find a donor... geez). usually nurses have a way better understanding of how long things actually take, in this case however, given the fact that she is clearly doing a job that requires more than one person it just adds more waiting and that doesn't seem fair to anyone. it's too bad they don't allow you to just look at the medical records yourself before choosing a donor. i'm just so sorry. i'm with peeveme on the "nice and consistent" bit. i would just keep calling each week.
Post a Comment