Not that anyone would actually know this since I had no followers at the time, but I actually started this blog once before and then got cold feet and deleted the entire thing. I'm a fairly private person - I don't talk with many people other than my husband about our IF issues. (Although the longer we deal with this, the more I start to question why not!) I have discussed it with two close friends but that's about it. So the act of putting my thoughts and feelings out there for the entire world to see freaked me out a little. Plus, when I first started the blog, we had just made the decision to try the donor egg route, so I had a lot of emotions and issues that I was trying to sort through. My posts dealt with some pretty tough topics - my feelings about using donor eggs rather than my own and how disappointing it is that my husband will be creating a baby with some other woman rather than with his wife, worries about how this child (if we are lucky enough to get that far) will never look like me in the way that I strongly resemble my mom who passed away from cancer when I was 20, and discussions about whether or not it is best to tell children conceived from donor eggs the truth about their conception.
Being the private person that I am, I just couldn't handle baring so much of my soul to the world right off the bat. Now, that a little time has passed, and I've come to accept this new path that we are taking, I thought I'd give this another try. My emotions and feelings and much more stable right now - at least for the moment - and I'm more focused on the practical side of things. It's not to say that I won't revisit all of these emotional topics again as this process progresses - I am sure I will have many doubts, concerns and conflicting feelings to blog about along the way- but for now, I'm going to start slowly - baby steps, as they say!
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