Blah

I've been feeling really blah the past couple of days. Physically, I feel a little yucky - don't know if it's the drugs I'm taking or if it was all the wine I drank Friday night when we had friends over for a cookout. I'm feeling emotionally blah as well. It's weird. According to my schedule, my donor's retrieval may be as early as this Thursday. I called the nurse yesterday to find out how things are going and it was the first time that this new nurse did not call me back. While I was slightly annoyed, it really didn't freak me out. In past cycles, I have been completely worked up, freaking out and needing tons of information. And while I would like to know that my donor is doing ok, I haven't gotten a single update and, for some reason, I feel like I really don't care. Over the past week, I've started feeling more and more detached and removed from this process. Other than continuing to inject the lupron each night - which I'm starting to hate after getting a massive bruise on my tummy - taking my vitamins and baby aspirin and doing the delestrogen shots twice a week, it doesn't feel at all like we are cycling and may actually have embryos transferred in the very near future. I'm expecting to talk to the nurse today. I feel certain that she will call. If not, I'll start calling this afternoon until I get someone who can give me an update. Maybe that's what the problem is - since I have no information, I'm just not worrying and stressing right now. I don't know if that's good or bad. Right now, it's just blah!