I Hate My Doctor

There I said it. It's true. I really, truly hate the man. Well, maybe not the man - on a personal level, he's actually quite nice. As a professional, he completely sucks ass.

My husband and I went back yesterday for another follow up appointment and to finalize our next steps. We really wanted answers regarding the quality of my husband's sperm. We knew from the beginning that he has low counts, and not great morphology and motility - that's why we've always done IVF with ICSI. However, after two failed IVF cycles with my eggs and one with donor eggs - where all the embryos stop dividing, we realized that there was one common denominator - the sperm. We didn't want to try another donor egg cycle with his sperm if the sperm is the problem.

Anyway, my doctor "made" my husband do the SCSA test probably 6 months or a year ago. I can't remember. But the point is, that test tells you if the sperm has DNA fragmentation - basically if it's any good or not. Well, way back when the results came in, I remember some nurse calling and saying - your results came in and your sperm is good. I remember the word good. Well, I guess we should have pushed for more details, but you'd think that the doctor would actually look at the results of this test that cost us $400 when he was coming up with a "plan of attack" for us. You would think that wouldn't you? You would also think that he would look at all the information in our file - I swear it is probably at least 5-6 inches thick - full of valuable information on what's been tried before, what didn't work, test results etc. TONS of information, that could help a QUALIFIED doctor find the best possible solution for us - what are our best chances for getting pregnant based on all the information you have before you. Yes, that's what most doctors would do - but not ours! I am furious.

We basically found out yesterday that my stupid ass doctor never even looked at the SCSA sperm test results until my husband specifically asked him to yesterday while we were sitting there. He dug it out and looked over it and basically the results indicated that my husband's sperm are complete crap! Now, if he had bothered to look at that before now, we could have saved nearly $20,000 by not using his sperm on our last cycle - which we had told the doctor was our very last try and we wanted the absolute best chance at success. BUT he never freakin looked at it! So,when my husband asked why he recommended that we do a donor cycle this past time with this rotten sperm, my stupid doctor said - well, with sperm like this you can still have success if you use an egg donor that has 21-year-old eggs rather than eggs like mine that are 38 years old. I just looked at him then and said - so, why did you approve a donor for me who was 32 (turning 33)? I HATE MY DOCTOR - did I say that already?

Every time I meet with him it is so obvious that he has no clue what is in my file. He just pulls something out of thin air and says - oh, let's try this. I guess sometimes he gets lucky and it works and when it doesn't, oh well - just more money for him from schmucks like us who just keep trying and trying without relying on all the data that is contained in my gigantic freakin file. I AM SO MAD!!

We originally started out with another clinic - one that is run by two doctors from the area's leading medical universities. We had an unsuccessful IVF cycle with them - back when we were still innocent and uneducated on IF. We came to my current clinic because it was much cheaper and when you are paying everything out of pocket, unfortunately, that is a factor that you consider. Wow - if I only knew then what I know now. Even though the first clinic cost a lot more, I think if we would have stayed with them, it would have been cheaper in the long run and we could very likely be pregnant by now. I guess when it comes to fertility treatment, cheaper is not your best option. I am so angry.

My husband says there is nothing we can do about it now. My crappy doctor is giving us a "deal" (it should actually be free) if we want to try one more donor cycle using donor sperm - our total cost for everything will be half of what a normal cycle costs. If it wasn't for this "deal" and the fact that this is our absolute last shot, I'd walk in there and take my 50-pound file and go back to my original clinic where the doctors actually read your file and work with you to find a solution.