Seeing that negative HPT was so devastating that I've decided not to test for the rest of the week. It's just too upsetting and distracting and I have a really busy day today and tomorrow at work, and I need to be focused. I'm trying so hard to be positive. Thank you all for your support. I know it's not over. I know this could still work and I feel like it should - I mean I had three wonderful embryos transferred - one a perfect grade 4 and two 3+s. You'd think at least ONE of them would settle in and hang out for the next nine months. For goodness sakes, they were donor eggs - not MY rotten eggs!
But that negative test - when so many others test positive at this point - and my lack of symptoms are not doing much to get my hopes up. Yes, I have googled every possible scenario and have found tons of women who had no symptoms and still got a positive beta, but you also find tons who had the opposite outcome. So, for now, trying to stay positive. I just wish I'd start feeling something. I did feel rather nauseous yesterday afternoon, but it could have been related to what I ate for lunch - who knows. I have had a few pains in my lower right abdomen but nothing significant and ... this one I don't want to even type, but yesterday I was looking at my boobs - which still aren't sore - and totally freaked out because the areola on the left one looked HUGE. I kept trying to figure out if it always looked that way and unfortunately or fortunately I don't have any nude photos of myself! Of course I googled it and found that enlargening areolas are one sign of pregnancy, so I got my hopes up - a little. However, it also said it can be the result of an increase in estrogen and I had just done my delestrogen shot on Monday. When I checked again this morning, it didn't look nearly as big, so either it was just my imagination or maybe it was from the shot. I don't know.
All I do know is that this just has to work. I don't know what we'll do if it doesn't.
I have two pee sticks left. I may test Sat and then again, if necessary, Sunday morning before my beta just to prepare myself for whatever news I'm going to get. We'll see.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
It is such a struggle - to pee or not to pee. Glad you have something to throw yourself into, to distract yourself from the awful 2WW.
I am still holding out for you tho'!
Good for you! No more sticks! Throw yourself into work, the time will pass and soon you will have a definitive answer.
Remember that you actually shouldn't feel any symptoms this early - it's all the hormones you are pumping into your system. Of course I was just the same during the 2ww, but I have to say I get more symptoms from my period than I ever did from pg that early! Good luck!
I hate how hard the two week wait is. *hugs*
You sound pretty good, all things considered. I actually think you ARE having some symptoms and I'm going to stay hopeful and keep my fingers crossed that it's all going to be okay. You do whatever feels right as far as the pee sticks. Thinking of you.
Post a Comment