So we are hosting a Christmas/My Birthday party at my house this Saturday night. We did the same thing last year, so I guess this will be the second annual party. I'm excited to see everyone and to celebrate Christmas with good friends, but I have two challenges to overcome this year that have me a bit concerned. First, I can't drink alcohol right now. For most people, this wouldn't be a big deal, but among my friends I'm kindof known for partaking in my share (or, sometimes, more than my share) of alcohol at our gatherings - not like fall down, obnoxious drunk, just happy, laughing good buzz drunk! I did go out and buy two bottles of non-alcoholic wine, that I'm actually going to pour into empty normal wine bottles, so, hopefully, that will do the trick, but our party's "festive drink" is the Candycane martini. We made these last year, and they were yummy and I had quite a few. I don't know if it will be overly noticeable if I don't drink any. I guess the reason I'm so worried is because no one knows that we are doing this cycle right now - not even the few friends that I have told about our IVF cycles in the past. And, second, out of all my friends, I seem to be the only infertile and it's the big elephant in the room that no one even asks about any more or talks about in front of us. Oh, I'm sure we are the subject of much speculation and pity behind our backs but it's a topic no one is brave enough to mention around me these days, so if they pick up on the fact that I'm not drinking, I'm sure it will rev the rumor mill up into full swing.
The second challenge is one that I'm dreading. In the spirit of the season I invited all my friends to the party - even one who I haven't seen at all since last year's party. This particular friend and I ceased talking completely earlier this past year because she is super fertile and I just couldn't handle being friends with her anymore. We both got married the same year. She actually moved her wedding date up by 6 months because she was so worried that she was going into early menopause. She's such a hypochondriac that she was contacting fertility clinics even before she got married and started to try. Needless to say, she got a positive pregnancy test on her honeymoon because they decided to start trying right before the wedding, so all those months and months of worrying about being pre-menopausal were for nothing. At the time, it didn't bother me, but then went on to have her second child shortly after the first arrived - by that point, I'd had enough. She had changed and was 100 percent mommy who only talked about her kids or tried to give me all sorts of assvice that I couldn't take, so I ended our friendship. When I invited her to the party, I had expected her to decline - come up with some sort of excuse, but she's actually coming and thanked me for the invitation, so we'll see. I figure they'll be so many other people there, that I won't get much chance to talk to her - at least that's what I'm hoping!
But now the weather is throwing a big wrench into everything that may just take care of all my challenges - it's snowing! Snow would be wonderful except, where I live, one inch of snow can shut down the whole town for days. If it continues to snow for the rest of the day and into tomorrow like they are forecasting, I bet no one shows up for our party and DH and I will have all that food, and he'll have all those martinis, to consume on our own.
Ahh, the joys of the holidays!
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4 comments:
Here's my advice on the drinking.. put something in a glass all evening and have it with you, and best if it looks like an alcoholic drink (just stow it in your fridge or something). And if anyone asks why no candycane martinis (yum, btw!) tell em last year you had a big ol' hangover and this year you'd like to avoid that.
On the friend thing, hopefully there will be so many people there that you won't have to spend real quality time. She should be able to figure out not to ask too many questions. But incidentally, moving up a wedding because of a random fear of early mp? Really? That's a new one!
how about ... get a champagne glass and fill it with ginger ale (put ginger ale into a champagne bottle if you have to). No one will know. I do it all the time at work functions and no-one suspects
Or, you could say you are on antibiotics and drinking makes you puke.
good luck with the friend, too.
Have a wonderful party!!!
Eb
Oh boy about your friend. Contacting infertility clinics before even trying?! That would have been the nail in the coffin for me! UGH!
The party sounds like fun. I don't have advice in the drinking bit, I never drink, so I'd draw more attention if I was drinking! LOL! I hear you on the weather...we got 14 inches of rain in 24 hours. Makes for fun times in the car...
Have a great party!
Oh boy, lots of great advice (hm, I like the ginger ale in a champagne bottle idea). I had a friend who got pg and she had a glass in her hand all night - little did we know at the time that she and her husband would just "trade" glasses when no one was looking. He did all the drinking! OR, you could say you overdid it a bit Friday night and just can't stomach alcohol for a few days.
As for the fertile friend matter, you are the hostess, love! You will have SO MANY duties and obligations making sure that ALL your guests' needs are tended to. So if she corners you to talk mommy talk, just look over her shoulder and say, "Oh, my, it looks like Bill really needs another beverage. Please excuse me." Ta-da.
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