I'm Scared to Death

I don't know why but for some reason today, I'm having a minor freak out. I have no reason to start worrying yet and I know that I just need to remain positive - I mean we transferred two perfect 5-day blasts, but I really am too afraid to get my hopes up. I want this so badly and I am so afraid that it's going to end with a BFN like all our other tries. If it does, I honestly don't know what I'll do. It crushes me just to think about it. I know stressing and worrying is not going to help me either. I know I need to chill. I know all these things, but I'm finding myself nearly in tears this morning thinking about how easy this baby-making thing is for most people in the world. Everyday, I hear stories over and over again of people having babies left and right and completely taking the ease of getting pregnant completely for granted because that's how things work. Why can't it work for me? I just don't understand. Hubby and I would be great parents. Why can't we be given the same opportunity as most every other couple in the world? I just can't wrap my head around it - the unfairness of it all.

I had my progesterone check this morning. Hopefully, it's at the right level. The receptionist told me how everyone in the office was talking about me yesterday and how they all want this to work so badly for me - just goes to show how long I've been going there and all the bad luck that I've had.