Feeling Better

I think I was hit with a huge surge of hormones yesterday or something. I felt so emotional all day and by bedtime my boobs were really sore, which actually cheered me up because I started to think that maybe I really could be pregnant this time. Well, today, I'm much more emotionally calm but the soreness in my boobs is gone so maybe it was a hormone surge like a power surge or something. Who knows. I'm still trying to be positive, I'm just having a really hard time getting my hopes up, because I'm just too scared. I did run out at lunch today to do some Christmas shopping errands and picked up a couple of HPTs while I was out. Part of me would like to go ahead and use them just to give me some answers, but the other part of me is jumping up and down screaming "Don't do it!!" Right now, that's the part I'm listening to. I don't want a negative to ruin my Christmas party, but then if I wait until after that, I don't want it to ruin my birthday and then I don't want it to ruin Christmas......and the list goes on and on. Hopefully, it will be a nice big positive and I won't have to worry about it ruining anything. So, right now, the plan is to POAS Sunday or possibly Monday - I'm taking Monday off for my birthday and will be at home alone during the day, so if it's bad news, I can lay in bed and cry all day - how's that for being positive! I know - I really need to work on it!